Creating the Road

Farewell Africa

2008-07-26T22:25:00.000-07:00

So it's my last morning and I have bittersweet feelings about leaving. I'm definitely ready to get home but I will miss the kids a lot. I will miss this beautiful country that is called the Pearl of Africa for good reason. As I type this, the fog is burning off over Lake Victoria and I can more clearly see all the greenery of the trees, the vibrant colors of the flowers, and the blue waters of the lake. Yesterday we went to Bujugali falls and the view from the ridge line was breathtaking. We could see down into the river valley and across to the rolling hills for what seemed like miles. The boiling and tumbling waters of the falls made me think I was crazy for ever rafting down them. We waited for two companies to raft the falls. I got some great video footage of one raft going down--as a reminder of what my experience had been just a week before! It was the perfect Saturday trip overall and also a last trip for me since we went through some of the smaller villages on our way to the falls (still my favorite thing about Africa!) and had a pretty funny "only in Africa" experience. Six of us had taken a private hire van to the falls, about a 20 minute drive. We had this ride set up for us by our trusty private hire service man, Abdullah. He has several drivers that work for him. I talked to Abdullah in person to set up the ride and I was there when he was talking to the man on the phone. He told him to pick us up at 10:45 and that we would stay at the falls for an hour. It wouldn't be fair to say that I should have known something was a little off since he was 20 minutes late. That is Africa for you, although Abdullah and (most of) his drivers tend to be on time. And when he dropped us off and said, "Stay as long as you like" I should have reminded him, "Ok, we'll be down there for an hour." None of us had a cell phone or this man or Abdullah's number. But it didn't matter because he was going to wait for us. Or at least that's what we thought. We walked up to the top of the ridge to the parking lot just as fat drops of rain were starting to fall. Our driver was nowhere to be found. The six of us huddled under a tree and the parking lot "attendant" told us the driver had left and was coming back. We waited for 15 minutes under the tree as the skies opened up and finally another driver let us sit in his varn. We chatted with him and looked at pictures of his family. Another 20 minutes passed. We had now been at Bujugali for almost an hour and fourty minutes. As the rain let up, we decided to walk up to the main gate to see if our driver was there. What we didn't consider was that the fine African red-dirt road had turned to mud in the rainstorm and soon our shoes were caked with so much mud we were sliding all over and mud was flying with each step. One of the poor new girls had worn flip flops and her feet, both top and bottom, were completely covered with red mud. She was freaking out about getting worms. We had all taken a worms pill and assured her that she could still take one even if it was a few days after her arrival in Africa. We stopped at a grassy section to try and get some of the mud off and got surrounded by little village kids who offered to help us get it off. They ran and got sticks and held some of our shoes, scraping it off. We thanked them and continued on, walking through the grass until we got to the main gate where there were a few huts with shops in them and a restaurant. A matatu, one of the city busses, pulled up. The driver would take us back to Jinja for 2,000 shillings each (that's about $1.30)--a much better deal than the 40,000 shillings we would have paid our MIA driver. The ride back, albeit on wet and muddy roads, was much better than on the way there since the wet roads caused us to go more slowly. We made it back to town safely. The rest of the afternoon was spent getting some ice cream, souvenir shopping, and spending some time with the kids. Earlier in the morning the kids had flocked to the two new girls and I have to admit I got a little jealous and sad. But in the evening I was surrounded by all my favorite kids and everything was alright again. I tried to soak it all and take advantage of every last smile and hug. Throughout this trip there have been times when it has been a challenge to be patient with strong-willed four year olds, or Steven, the one autistic boy here, but in those moments I kept reminding myself that I was here to serve them. When they would look up at me and smile or when I would be helping them get dressed or dried off after a bath, that verse in Matthew would pop into my head, "what you did for the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." This trip was underwhelming and overwhelming all at the same time. I think the real effects of it will hit me after I leave--it doesn't seem to be the life-changing trip that I had hoped it would be at the moment, but I would be fooling myself to say it hasn't had an impact on my life. And I know today that when I get in that car with Abdullah after saying goodbye to my friends and the kids that I will be sad to leave. So, thanks, Africa, for the memories, for good people, and for teaching me that I can travel somewhere so exotic all by myself. It's on to new adventures now...

Fun with Bobby, Chickenpox on the loose, and wrapping it up

2008-07-25T21:31:00.001-07:00

When Emily left I inherited her favorite kid, Bobby. He is truly a little light around here with his big brown eyes and huge smile. He is one of the three toddlers who is HIV-positive but you would never know. Baby Katie, one of the others with HIV, seems like she is always sick, taking rasping breaths and having a constant nose drip or crusted snot under her nose. Speaking of being sick--we've had quite a go of it here at Amani, both kids and volunteers. When I arrived all the toddlers and babies had a cold and some had some stomach issues as well. Andrea, the main nurse here, came in dejectedly one day earlier this week, sat down with a sigh, and said, "I need to take some kids to the doctor...I just don't know what this is and I'm at my wits ends. All the kids are sick and all the volunteers are sick." And that was before the chickenpox outbreak that (visibly) began yesterday. Maria, the older woman adopting, was all set to leave on Sunday and then Savannah got chickenpox and couldn't be cleared to fly. It wouldn't have mattered even if she had because now Weiss has it and he would have never been cleared so close to flight time. It's quite the adventure! Christy and I were going to take some kids on an outing today to Bujugali Falls, but we're not allowed to take anyone out now, lest we expose some village kids somewhere.

Yesterday was my last shift at Amani and it was a great day overall. We went in to town to the agriculture trade show. It was an interesting experience to see everything although rather underwhelming overall. The crafts weren't that great and there were mostly stands about growing things more efficiently in Africa, using solar power, etc. It was uplifting to see so much hope about the future though. In fact, the main tag line of the show was something along the lines of, "Increasing agricultural production as the stimulus for economic growth in Africa." There was a microcredit booth there, and the World Food Programme had a tent advertising that they are the largest buyer of food in Uganda and that they offer the Food for Education program to encourage Ugandans to keep their children in school. This type of program has been successful in southeast Asia. We were literally the only mzungus around for most of the fair, but it wasn't crowded and I never felt unsafe.

I spent my last shift like I always do, pushing kids on the swing, pulling them in the wagons, sitting on the hill. Yesterday was probably the hottest day we've had since I've been here, but by 5:30 it was beautiful and even got to be quite cool. As we walked into the toddler house for dinner, Francis asked me if I would take him to town tomorrow and I said no and explained why. He looked and me and said, "Then I don't love you anymore" with a coy smile. One of the mama's said, "Francis! That is your friend" and then she turned to me and told me that he calls me "mama." That didn't last long though--he gave me one the biggest hugs ever when I finished reading the story. (It was actually more like a headlock since he's in the middle bunk and was at eye level with me).

A large group of us headed over to the Gately, one of the nicer hotels in Jinja that just happens to be right across the street from us. They have a good restaurant there and we had all been anticipating a good dinner for several days. It didn't dissapoint. We sat on the candle-lit patio, with the geckos climbing all over the walls and the lit fountain running out in the yard. It seemed to me what the true mzungu experience of Africa is when we go on extravagant safaris and stay at hotels that, while (sometimes) cheap by our standards, are full of luxuries. It was nice to take in for a night but I think I would still prefer walking around a village to get to know Africa. So as my time comes to and end, I'm thankful for all the fun times with the kids and the things I got to see and do. I'm looking forward to coming home now!

Thoughts of home and a slice of Jinja

2008-07-23T22:19:00.001-07:00

My first week here flew by and now during my second week I'm experiencing that flux in emotions in which I'm glad to still be here but anticipating getting home. This is heightened by the fact that two of my friends and roommates have left this week. Emily left last night and the guest house seemed quiet without her. There are only three of us left now in the house. And even though Anne and I are the only ones in the big room, with two other empty bunkbeds, we still remain on the same bunk, she's on the bottom, I'm on the top bed. I guess I could have moved, but it seemed like a waste to put on new sheets on another bed when I'm leaving in four days, and there are two new girls coming tomorrow so I figured I would give them a choice in beds.

In addition to volunteers leaving, several kids have left as their adoptions have been finalized. One of my favorite kids (and probably the cutest kid ever!), Nathaniel, left with his adoptive mother. We weren't even aware that it was taking place and then one day this week he was just gone. It's been neat to see two other adoptive families hang out around Amani. The adoption process is long and all about uncertainty and waiting. Mark is here from Utah and has been here for several weeks. He travels back and forth to Kampala to the embassy with an older mother and her college-aged son from California who are adopting two children, Weiss, a toddler, and Savannah, a baby girl. Certain family members often have to return to the states or can't be here through the whole process. Mark's wife is coming in this weekend, while the older woman's husband had to leave the weekend I got in. Unfortunately, the promise of adoption creates a strange dynamic for the older children being adopted. Weiss can get a little bratty after being out with his new mom and returning to all his friends at Amani. But he will panic if his mom leaves him here, afraid that it might not be true and she is leaving for good. Similarly, there are three girls who have been adopted by some of the women who work here and they run around with a sense of entitlement, knowing they have loving families, while still being fully integrated into the life of the home with all the other orphans. I suppose they are too young to understand or behave any differently but their behavior and attitudes really rub me the wrong way some times.

One dark spot for us volunteers in our time here happened last night as two girls got mugged on their way home to their guest house. There are so many volunteers in the summer that the Amani guest house can't fit everyone. Six girls are staying at Calvary Chapel, just a 5 minute walk down the road and around the corner, and three other people are staying at the Fisheries, along with the adopting families. Most of us don't really even walk around alone during the day, and most of the girls had been smart about getting back to their guesthouses before dark or making sure that one of the male volunteers accompanied them home. But last night two girls were walking by themselves at 8 pm and reached the intersection where they were about to turn when they were approached by four men. Jordan was picked up and started kicking and screaming and Michelle was grabbed around the throat from behind, her glasses knocked off, and her backpack pulled off her. Jordan managed to escape the grasp of the men and ran ahead to Calvary to get help. We're so thankful that nothing else happened. They are ok but shaken up and Michelle lost a lot of money, her credit cards, and her camera. Jinja itself is a pretty safe town but you still have to be smart.

So on an entirely different note...it's pineapple season here in Jinja. Christy and I went to the town market last week which was such an experience--so many sounds, sights, and smells. I couldn't even take it all in because I was so concentrated on keeping a strong grip on my bag and looking at the ground trying not to trip over something. It was crowded between the make shift stalls and the paths were narrow. Most of the vendors sold food but there was also clothing and other goods for sale. We were on a mission to get a pineapple and some bananas. Christy knew a good man to buy the pineapples from so we made our way over to him and purchased two. The market is at the far end of Jinja so we each took a motorbike boda boda back. This time I didn't sit side saddle since I had on pants and I wanted to feel more secure after my terrifying bicycle boda experience. I had my groceries and pineapple in one hand and I held on to the back of the bike with the other. Even though I felt more balanced, the ride was equally as scary since we went so fast. I realized I had never been on a motorbike or motorcycle before so this was a whole new experience for me. I just kept praying that we wouldn't get hit by a car. Boda accidents are quite common. In fact, my rafting guide had a bandaged knee and elbow. When he first got in the boat I was little concerned by this (and in the end, a British guy in my boat and I nicknamed him, The Crip, since he almost hobbled about like a cripple). It turns out that he hadn't been involved in a bad rafting accident but rather had had a bad boda experience.

Jinja is also the sight of the one of the largest "fairs" in Uganda. Much like a county fair in the states, the trade show, as they call it here, has entertainment, food, and crafts. Apparently it's a really big deal. On Tuesday night a marching band walked through the streets to signify the beginning of the show and we heard that the presidents of Uganda, Tanzania and Kenya were all in attendance on the first day. Judith and Floris went to check it out yesterday and said that a larger group of people should probably go together as it was very loud and crowded and they were two of very few mzungus. In Jinja itself there are quite a few western tourists but this fair is at the edge of town in the fairgrounds. I think a group of eight of us are going to go tomorrow but we will have to see now that everyone is a little on edge after last night.

The kids are still great. I've started taking care of the girls after dinner. They go into their little room and strip off their clothes and basically run around naked, dancing, singing, and screaming until a mama comes to wash them. They have so much fun and look up at me with these big smiles--it's so funny. After they come out of the bathroom soaking wet I dry them off and help them get on their pjs. Then when everyone is settled I read them a story and give them a hug when I am done.

Francis' Prayer

2008-07-21T21:41:00.000-07:00

Francis is called on to lead the prayer before snacktime. He sits at the little picnic table, his back to the plate of fruit that is today's snack. He begins the usual call and response prayer the toddlers always say: "Hands together." The other eighteen toddlers clap their hands together and repeat in a sing song fashion, "Hands together." "Eyes closed" "Eyes closed" "Thank you Jesus" "Thank you Jesus" "For this food" At this point the more shy toddlers may end the prayer right here or those who are called on more often may go through the ritual of blessing the mamas and uncles and aunties. But Francis decides he needs to cover all his bases and thank God for all the food they are eating today. As the masses respond with the song-like intonation in their phrase, Francis quickly lifts and turns his head and casts one beady eye at the fruit tray, almost like he is cheating at a game of Heads-Up 7-Up. As he surveys the fruit, he tries desparately to keep the other eye closed, as if opening both eyes during a prayer would be a sin. There is a split second delay between when the others finish saying, "for this food" and when Francis turns his head back, bowing it, and shutting both eyes. He continues, "Thank you for the watermelon." Now he has forgotten what else is on the tray so again he struggles to take a quick glance at the fruit tray while keeping one eye closed. "Thank you for the papaya." Feeling like he has sufficiently thanked Jesus for everything now, he relaxes and finishes his prayer. "In Jesus' name." "In Jesus' name" "Amen." "Amen!!!!" the masses shout loudly and enthusiastically accompanied by a few claps.

I just smile and giggle as I pass out the fruit thinking of Francis peering over his shoulder.

Three Snapshots of Ugandan Life

2008-07-20T23:39:00.000-07:00

One.
When a group of us walked into Ozzies, an Australian-owned restaurant that Amani volunteers regularly frequent, I immediately noticed a group of four woman sitting a table. Three of the women were mzungus (white people) and one was a Ugandan woman. We sat at the table across from them and I caught snippets of their conversation as we waited for our food. What I heard really fascinated me because what I heard was a microcredit plan being formulated in action. Microcredit is one of the most promising ways of aiding the poor in third world countries. The basic premise is that people living in poverty (and usually women specifically) are given small loans between the equivalent of $30 and $50 dollars. These people then invest the money into buying something that will let them make a livelihood and a profit, for example a loom they could weave items on to sell at the market. The profits they receive pay back the loan incrementally and also sustain the person and their family. I had actually seen a sign for the FINCA office in Uganda the day I arrived. FINCA is one of the larger microcredit organizations (and on a random side note, Natalie Portman is their major celebrity spokeswoman).

The Ugandan woman was named Sarah and she owned a tailor shop that specifically benefitted widows. The plan was to give Sarah ten sewing machines and various other sewing materials (thread, scissors, etc.). The white women involved Sarah in the process of how her business would work--they asked her how she would set up a cooperative. Who would be in charge? For how long? What would the logistics be? They often paused to not overwhelm her and referred to meeting later in the week to solidify some of the plans. The conversation ended with the promise to wire Sarah $50 US dollars per month for several months. As they stood up to leave I asked one of the white women if the group worked for FINCA and she said no but that this project with Sarah was one of the first of their organization's push towards a microcredit scheme and that they would like to partner with FINCA in the future.

Two.
On Saturday night as we rode the matatu home from rafting we rounded a bend in the road and suddenly had the the most specatular view of Lake Victoria. All along the surface yellow lights danced and twinkled like lightning bugs on a warm summer night. I asked the Ugandan raft guide sitting next to me what the lights were. He told me that the lights on are fishing boats and that they attract the fish on the lake to the surface where the fishermen then scoop them up in their nets. Uganda is known for its abudance of tilapia and the national fishery is just a block from Amani. Today Christy and I are going to walk down to the lake and check out on the fishing villages.

Three.
Yesterday we went to church at Calvary Chapel. It was a really neat experience to worship with people from another culture. There was a six-man band that played several songs, half in Ugandan and half in English, on their guitars, keyboards, and multiple drums. I was energized and moved by the songs in Ugandan that I couldn't understand and by the way the Ugandans in the sanctuary swayed and experienced them. The pastor gave a sermon on sin and redemption, of changing your life and walking with the Lord. The sermon itself was only a half hour long but ended up being an hour since a translator translated everything into Ugandan. 'people entered the service at many different points and just squished in to a row. One man came in, obviously after his shift had ended, in a Securex uniform and sat next to a young girl. She immediately shared her Bible with him and pointed to the passage we were on. It was good to see the faith of the people. Many people from the congregation came up and shook our hands afterwards. Everyone is so friendly here. On our way home, as we were walking down a path near some poorer families' ramshackle homes, a boy of about ten or eleven ran over to me and said, "Hello Mzungu" and grabbed my hand and held it for a moment in what I can guess was only a moment of inspiration to experience the novelty of touching a white person. He ran off as quickly as he had come. It made me smile.

Rafting the Nile

2008-07-19T11:36:00.000-07:00

I spent my Saturday rafting the White Nile with Courtney, Christy, Tiffany, and Kevin, four other Amani volunteers. It was insane! The volume of the river is tremendous (Paddle Georgia people--it was more water than we could have ever hoped for!) and the rapids are huge. We could choose to go "wild" or "mild" on the river (although really, I don't think it was possible to go mild) and while half of my boat wanted a more moderate ride, the other half wanted "wild." So, to start off and give us a little taste of what "wild" would be, our guide made us swim the first small rapid after doing some safety training. Then, on our first class III our guide intentionally flipped us. Ridiculous! I've never fallen out or flipped while rafting before but luckily I've heard a lot of stories about it from an experienced raft guide (thanks Jeff!), so I just tried to remember to stay calm. The first few seconds underwater felt like an eternity while I waited for my lifejacket to find it's way, along with my body, up to the surface. Gulping for sweet air in the midst of swallowing half the Nile, I finally made it through the tumbling waves. Our second flip came at the top of our second Class V. Our guide had prepped us before for what to do at each point in the rapid in case we flipped. Well, we were quite the spectacle and I think only one of the two of the total of nine boats that flipped. I can't tell you the horrible feeling you get in your stomach when the boat keels dangerously over and falls out from under you. We flipped at the top of this rapid where our instructions were to not hold on to the boat, just swim through. I managed to hold on to my paddle but when I surfaced at the end, my helmet was gone and my pants were nearly around my knees. Tiffany had also lost her helmet and we swam near each other to the rescue kayak (each raft had two rescue kayaks). She held on to the front and I held on to the back. In a mess of disorientation, we were pulled up on the trip leader's boat while the rest of our the people from our boat were dragged out of the water like drowned rats into various other boats. A guy from our boat seriously banged up his knee and went in the safety boat the rest of the time. From that point on, I had had enough flipping. The rest of the day proved to be just as much of an adrenaline rush and luckily we stayed in our boat. If you want to watch a random youtube video of some of the highlights, follow the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LsJBI7jfxY

Finishing 18 miles downriver in a very rural part of Uganda and seeing the villages there rivaled the ride itself for my favorite part of the day. It's easy to forget that I'm in Africa when I spend too much time on the grounds of the orphange. It's cushy--more so than I was expecting, or even what I would have liked (although I'm not complaining for the little luxuries we have, like internet for example!). There are still very African things that happen to us--the power goes out and we run on a generator, or if the generator blows, we have complete power loss and use our headlamps. The water goes out daily so you have to check for a strong flow of water before you get in the shower and get all soapy. This also means we can't flush the toilet sometimes, or use water to cook. Jinja itself is a large town with many banks, supermarkets, restaurants and shops. So finally getting to see a bona fide African village tonight gave me a little thrill. There was so much to take in it was sensory overload and I know I'm not going to do justice to all the things I saw. First of all, the roads were unpaved and had deep grooves in the mud. Riding the matatu (bus) along those ruts gave me the feeling that I had never left the raft as the bus would careen to the side (and frankly, I was done with that feeling!). As we drove we passed mud huts with corrugated iron roofs or some huts with thatched roofs, all complete with a little farm plot. Occasionally there were small buildings made with brick. Usually a gaggle or children would rush out to wave to us from each little household. We passed women tending fires and cooking, men walking along the road, goats and cows eating grass in the little fields. Little by little the huts became closer in proximity and gave way to more of the crude brick buildings as we came into the one small main street of a tiny town. I couldn't distinguish what building was what since most of them weren't painted adn looked the same, but there was a building housing the local cell phone company store. Crazy how technology has infiltrated even the more remote places of the world. This town led into a larger small town where a gigantic outdoor market was occuring. Everyone in the town and their brother was out on the streets, perusing the wares of the vendors. There was so much clothing--both traditional African designs and also a lot of western styles--jeans, t-shirts donning European football stars, brightly colored blouses. We had to slow down to almost a crawl to make it through the packed streets. This was the Africa I had come to see! I tried to savor it and take it all in. I'm trying to get out into Jinja as much as I can now to experience daily life and see people going about their lives in order to get more of that authentic African experience.

God is so good..

2008-07-18T11:04:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my first shift back with the kids after taking the day before off to rest and recuperate. When I walked in I realized why I had been so sick--half the toddlers had runny noses and were coughing and the nurse told me later that those who were sick were also most likely fighting the flu. I'm glad I was able to fight it off. After snack time and getting dressed, Peter, a Ugandan volunteer, put on a CD. He told the kids to sing along. When the chorus began all the kids started singing, "God is so good, God is so good, God is so good to me." Seeing those dozen adorable toddlers sing those words brought tears to my eyes and touched a part of my soul I hadn't realized had been needing to be moved like that. The rest of the day the littlest things made me tear up--holding a brooding George, one of my favorite kids, for most of the afternoon and thinking about where he will go after Amani, or watching Francis run by with a huge smile on his face saying, "Auntie, watch me!" They all already have a special place in my heart.

Swimming, swimming, in the swimming pool...

2008-07-17T02:13:00.000-07:00

Today a few of us took four babies swimming. I haven't been around the babies as much yet but the little girl I took out, Nicole, was such a joy. Some of the other babies weren't so sure about the water at first but Nicole loved it and giggled and splashed the whole time. We can take the kids for "outings" to town or other places on Saturdays and when we are not on our shift. I was glad I went since I had been cooped up inside since Tuesday night. Now that I'm feeling better it was great to get out and see more of the town. We walked closer to Lake Victoria today down to a hotel pool. Right after we got there a huge group of Ugandan schoolchildren also arrived. They were as mesmerized by us as we were of them--it was fun watching them swim. I'm looking forward to getting back on my normal routine and to see the toddlers this afternoon.

Toddlers!

2008-07-16T07:30:00.000-07:00

I have visited one other orphanage in my lifetime, on a Habitat trip to Romania with my church in Brussels. That orphanage seemed like there was much less hope than there is at Amani. The children came out and hung on us and played with us, starving for attention and wanting desperately for us to take them with us. A tour of the building left us with a sense of awe as we tried to imagine the living conditions when Romania was at its worst—up to 70 children would be put in one room, cribs stacked three high. That visit was heartbreaking and eye-opening—making me extremely grateful for what I had. Amani is like a breath of fresh air compared to that place. Situated on a large piece of land, it has a sprawling front yard complete with a swing set and a backyard that is like a courtyard between another set of buildings. The babies’ rooms occupy the bottom floor of the main house and the volunteers’ guest house is upstairs. Behind the courtyard is a little building that houses the toddlers. There is one more long narrow building that houses the administrators’ offices and the clinic behind the toddlers’ rooms.
My shift with the toddlers starts around 2:30, give or take a few minutes since they are waking up from naptime. Even though these children are young, they have the schedule down pat and are taught to do a lot for themselves. On my first day it was fun seeing them do everything so independently, every once in awhile asking for help. When I walked in they were changing out of their diapers and into underwear after sleeping. Naked except for their underwear, they then go and sit at two little picnic tables for the snack. I got to pass out the watermelon and papaya they ate for snack and after passing out each piece the children would respond, “Thank you Auntie Tracy.” There are about thirty Ugandan hired staff who care for the children and they are called the “mamas.” The volunteers are called “aunties.” It was amusing as they tried to learn my name on the first day—they would ask and then ask again a minute later.
After dribbling bits of fruit and getting all sticky from the juices, it was time for them to put on their clothes and shoes and go out to play. I got to see the new cars, red wagons, and shiny tricycles in action. I got conned into spending way too much time taking kids to the bathroom when they had to sous-sous (pee) or ca-ca (I don’t think I need to explain this one). Another volunteer told me later to just send them to the potty themselves instead of waiting for them so much. It started raining around 5:30 on my first day so we had to go inside for an hour until dinner. It was a chaotic and noisy hour as we tried to keep the kids entertained. At 6:30 dinner was served, consisting of rice and some kind of bean and possibly meat stew. It looked and smelled really good! They can eat a surprising amount of food and even though they have spoons, most of them eat with their hands. And instead of literally licking the plate clean, they mop up any remaining gravy with their hands and then lick their hands. The kids who finish the fastest try to steal nibble off their neighbors’ plates.
Bathtime follows dinner which the mamas take charge of and as they kids come out we help them put on their pjs. After a story we hug they kids goodnight. They are so cute! Their little smiles just melt my heart and I’m glad to know that they are so well cared for. They seem happy. It’s easy to forget that they are orphans and don’t have parents of their own.
My shift yesterday was cut short as I started to feel sick. I was so proud and relieved that I hadn’t been sick at all but I was starting to feel the symptoms of the flu—body ache, upset stomach, etc. I left to go inside and went right to bed—it was probably only 6:00. Luckily I never got sick but I still feel very tired, weak, and achy today. I took the day off from my shift and I have been laying around reading and sleeping a lot. I’m hoping I’ll be all better by tomorrow!

African Adventures

2008-07-14T22:10:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how bearable a trans-Atlantic flight becomes when you know you have another eight hour flight to follow it. It seems merely a warm-up as opposed to the eight hours of sleep-deprived frustration it normally is for me. Although sleep deprived it would remain to be since I decided against taking an Ambien since there were less than six hours left and I didn't want to deal with the supposed grogginess of waking up midway through an Ambien-induced coma. In the end I got about 4 hours of bad sleep but I managed to stay awake during my layover in Amsterdam. As previously stated, my bad luck with international calls followed me into Europe and after many unsuccessful attempts, wrong numbers, busy tones, wrong phones altogether, I finally got through to my parents. As I sat waiting for my flight I was surprised by the demographics of the passengers. Most people were European or American--there were very few Africans. For some reason I thought I would be in the minority.

I feel silly now for being so nervous and worried about my trip. Everything went off without a hitch. The flight from Amsterdam to Entebbe was just as nice as from Atlanta to Amsterdam--again I don't know what I was thinking. We got into the Entebbe airport and getting through the visa line was smooth sailing. I found an ATM and was able to take out money and then I found Zane outside waiting for me. Zane and his wife are missionaries in Entebbe. They have adopted three babies from Amani and they let volunteers stay at their house when we get in late. It was 9 pm when we left the airport. One surprise--Ugandans drive on the left side of the road (a remnant from the country's British colonial past)! Driving was absolutely terrifying as we got into the little town where they lived within Entebbe. People were walking all over the street, only illuminated by our headlights. Drunk men dangerously swayed into the path of our car and the horn was well-used. Zane had to flash his lights at several people, but having lived there for four years, was totally non-plussed. I, on the other hand, wanted to close my eyes until it was over. Zane said it would be worse when Abdullah picked me up in the morning and we drove through Kampala on our way to Jinja.

Zane and Summer lived in a nice compound (yes, it was a compound, complete with a guard). Their house reminded me of the houses in Belgium. I had the front living quarters and they lived in the back quarters, separated by a small courtyard. I took a shower and went right to bed. I work up about 2:30 and couldn't sleep for awhile but the next thing I knew I was waking up to the sound of the day guard sweeping the yard outside my window, and Erin, the six-year old talking to the kittens. As I lay there, Summer began passionately discussing something I couldn't quite make out. When I went to their side of the house for breakfast I found out what is was. Just to give you perspective about how grave the orphan situation is in Uganda (over 2 million orphans), that morning a baby had been found abandoned in a pit latrine. While this was somber news, it gave even more meaning and mission to my trip.

Abdullah arrived at nine and we started our trip to Jinja. Everything looked different in the light. While the main roads are paved, all the parking lots to the small buildings and the land on either side of the road is just dirt. The buildings are crudely built, many look like they are falling apart or in the process of being built or possibly somewhere in between. As we drove I noticed that many buildings had ads on them for Coca-Cola or cell-phones or paint. Apparently paint production is a major industry in Uganda as evidenced not only by the ads but also the bright colors used to paint the buildings including a shocking fuschia color that seems to be the fad at the moment. It took an hour and a half just to get through Kampala. Traffic was slow due to the crowded streets full of both cars and pedestrians. The smog and smoke of the city was horrible--I felt like I had smoked a cigarette by the time we got through. I kept coughing and felt congested. Overall, my impression of Kampala was that it was dirty and busy and I had no desire to go back.

After driving through two more towns on the outskirts of Kampala we passed through a lush, jungle-like part of the countryside that was like driving through a national forest. Then the forest gave way to fields of sugarcane and tea. The tea leaves were the brightest, most brilliant green color I have ever seen. Passing out of the fields we crossed over the White Nile and drove into Jinja. It's a much prettier town than Kampala, more trees and nicer buildings. As we arrived at Amani a few of the toddlers came out to greet us. Debbie, the administrator at the orphanage, showed me up to the guest house and got me settled. The house is nice with hardwood floors and high ceilings. There are seven of us living here, although the living area is the main hang out for all the volunteers whether they are staying here or at a nearby guest house. Debbie took me into town and I did some grocery shopping. We also stopped to look at a few of the craft markets. There are beautiful things made here and I can't wait to do some shopping. We ran into Emily, another volunteer, and Debbie set me loose with her. We stopped in a few more stores and then Emily introduced me to boda-bodas. This is the most popular, cheapest, and readily available form of transportaion in the village. Emily wanted to take a motorbike boda-boda but there weren't two available so a guy on a bicycle boda-boda offered to take me. This wouldn't have been so bad if women weren't required to sit side-saddle on the back cushion. I was left with the feeling of being severely off balance, unable to put my feet anywhere, and unsure of where to hold on. As we departed from the side of the road we picked up speed going downhill and I was pretty sure I was going to fall off and die. When we pulled into the driveway I breathed a sigh of relief and decided that I would walk into the village and back from now on, glad to have both feet on the ground and for the exercise.

When Emily and I got back the morning shift had ended so most of the volunteers were in the guest house finishing up their lunch. It was neat to meet everyone and hear their story of where they are from and how they found out about Amani. All but two of the volunteers are female and most seem like they are in college. They come from all over the world--Holland, New Zealand, England, the States. I think we're going to have fun, or rather I think I'm going to enjoy getting incorporated into their group, since most of them have already been here for a few weeks.

I'll post more later about my shift with the toddlers since I've just about exceeded my time limit on the house computer. It's a trip seeing these little Ugandan three and four year olds running all over the place. I'll post some pictures too!

Time to go!

2008-07-12T08:14:00.000-07:00

Departure day is here and I am ready! Well, almost ready. I got up and went to a class at the gym since I won't be working out for two weeks (eeeeeeek!!!!) and because I always feel better when I work out before sitting for a long trip (27 hours trumps all previous trips though). I also ran some last minute errands including making copies of my passport, credit card, and healthcard, and I picked up some money from the bank. I still have quite a lot of packing to do but it will all come together. I sent out the link to this blog and got so many kind and encouraging responses from friends. I'm so blessed to have so many amazing people in my life that I've met and collected from all over the world over the years. I'll leave you with some quotes I've been thinking about this week:

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." -- Mark Twain (thanks for reminding me of this nugget, Rob)

"For me there is only traveling on paths that have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge is to traverse its full length. And there I travel, looking, looking breathlessly" --Carlos Iastanda

"The thing I find most amazing about Your amazing grace is the chance to give it out...maybe that's what love is all about" --Brandon Heath

"It is not down on any map, true places never are" --Herman Melville

As I think about that last quote and my sense of place in this world, I'm taken aback by the realization that so much of this trip is about the people I will encounter and interact with. We will have reciprocal relationships, teaching each other about what we know about life. And because this trip is so relationally based, that place will never be recaptured again, even if I travel back to Uganda in the future, because the people will be new and different the second time around. So I'm taking full advantage of the present and I'm going to enjoy every second of it.

Love you all! I promise to be safe and I'll post again as soon as I can from Jinja!

Neuro-Psychiatric-Free Malaria Pills

2008-07-10T05:24:00.001-07:00

I've heard conflicting things about my malaria medication. Some malaria pills give people really horrible dreams (read: being chased and killed by bad men, or so this seems to be the theme amongst two friends who have taken them). Since I had a dream along these same lines two nights ago (think teenage horror flick) and I haven't even started taking the pills, I'd like to think that I've had my share of nightmares for the next three or four years, thank you very much. After reading through the drug information from the pharmacy and not finding anything about bad dream side-effects, I went online to do more research. Luckily, malarone has less side-effects than other malaria pills and (this is the best part!) doesn't have the neuro-psychiatric side-effects of another malaria pill that starts with "m", mefloquine. Now, this does not mean that I won't have any bad dreams. Perhaps people still have weird dreams on malarone, but I'm crossing my fingers I'll get along just fine.

Getting Pumped but...

2008-07-09T19:36:00.000-07:00

So let me start with the but... part of my post since it's a major downer and the rest is more positive. I was driving to my parents' house tonight on my way home from meeting with Blair (more on that later) and it was such a nice time of night. It had just gotten dark, I was listening to good music, and it was comforting to know I would be seeing my parents in a few minutes when all of a sudden I thought, "What if this is the last time I ever go to my parents house? What if something happens to me and I don't come back?" It's like when you break up with someone and you wish you could recapture the last time you kissed them and savor it since you didn't know it would be the last time you ever kissed them at the time. Ok, so I know this is really morbid and I'm going to come home safe, but it brought my nervousness to a head and I just told myself, "If you're going to go, at least you're going to go in style, totally living your dream." But I made extra sure to savor the laughs and hugs and "I love you's" from my parents anyways.

Alright, so besides that little blip, tonight was really good for me and I started to move from nervousness to excitement. Last night I met with Mason and Shannon and we talked about my trip and they prayed for me. I love those girls and that small group--we've been through life's highs and lows this year and having them pray for my safety and protection ("angels around me from the time I leave my house to the time I walk back through my door") and for life changing experiences to take place was encouraging and comforting. Additionally, I met with Blair tonight and she provided so much insight into traveling and living in Uganda. Blair traveled there last summer and her fiance just got back from another trip two weeks ago. She had good tips about what to pack and what to eat, but my favorite part of our chat was about the people of Uganda and her promise that they will humble me beyond imagination. Even though they don't have much they will share what they have with me. They will offer me their babies to hold, invite me over for dinner, teach me to dance. And I'll get to see the way a whole new culture experiences God, which I know will be powerful for helping me continually think about my faith.

I'm not going to lie, I still don't feel like I'm leaving on Saturday. I have my bag mostly packed, I'm getting my emergency numbers together, I've become a mini version of the travel-sized aisle at Target with all the sample size toiletry items I've collected (which I love by the way...why are travel-sized items so fun? Maybe because they're only a dollar and I feel like I'm getting a bargain and it's a new product I get to try out which is fun because it's different and it usually smells good). I think on Friday night I'm just going to sit down and really be still, let my mind slow down, journal, read my Bible, and pray in expectation and preparation for my trip. I'm craving that sweet time--I need it like I need sleep, food, and water.

War Dance

2008-07-07T15:30:00.000-07:00

My nervousness about traveling hasn't subsided much since my last post. It lies inside me and subconsciously affects how I think about my trip. Sure, I'm still expectant of amazing experiences, life-changing interactions, and having the time of my life, but I'm just not in a mindset yet where I'm 100% ready for this trip--I haven't had time to slow down and process everything. Sarah came into town for the weekend and we went to Blockbuster last night to find a movie to spend a chill Sunday evening with. The first movie I saw in the store was a documentary I have been dying to see-War Dance. We were sold. Much like the competition of Mad Hot Ballroom was to the children of inner city New York, War Dance chronicles a school from the northern war-torn region of Uganda as it travels to a national music and dance competition in Kampala, Uganda's capitol. The film centers around three teenagers, Nancy, Dominic, and Rose, who tell their stories of loss and horror amidst footage of their school's hope of winning the competition through countless hours of work and practice.

Nancy, a girl of fourteen with the most beautiful chocolate brown eyes I have ever seen, lost her father to the rebels. Her mom was also abducted but ended up at the same IDP camp two months after Nancy took her younger siblings there for protection. Dominic is the xylophone player of the group and his happiness about music and the competition is contagious. Taken into captivity and forced to be a child soldier for two months, he was lucky to be repatriated into his culture upon returning to the camp. His opening statements set the mood for the movie: "In our daily lives there must be music. In everything we do, if there is music, life becomes so good." Then there is Rose, a girl who, having seen the most horrific events of the war happen to her parents (things I can't even fathom seeing or dealing with), is the most skiddish and softspoken of the group. She lives with an aunt who takes advantage of having a healthy extra set of hands and is almost not allowed to go the competition.

The documentary helped me put everything in perspective. It let me see some of the Ugandan landscape. It showed me some of the country's people and their culture. The traditional songs, dances, and costumes highlighted throughout the movie sparked my excitement, as music and dance are my most favorite part about new cultures (with food being a close second). While I won't be spending any time in that region of Uganda or in IDP camps, there were quite a few young children and babies running around the camp. They looked precious and that got me thinking about the kids that await me at the orphange. What little personalities will I encounter there? Will they break into a huge bright white smile like Dominic did every time he played his xylophone? How will they touch my life? And speaking of life and putting things in perspective--the film made me think about how different the lives of those three students are to the 14-year olds I am working with at camp this week-- 14-year olds who are ultra-priveleged, who probably have never wanted for anything, who couldn't even begin to think about living in a refugee camp, or waiting in a UN food line. I'm ready for people who are thankful for what they have, who work with glad hands, and who enjoy the little pleasures of life. And I'm ready to include myself in that group. I need just as much a reminder about the little joys of life, of slowing down and not taking things for granted. When I think about those things I am ready to go. Tomorrow night my small group is meeting to pray for me and I'm looking forward to the peace and focus that that will give me as well. For now, it's time to start packing...

Roadblocks

2008-07-01T19:29:00.001-07:00

I'm kicking myself for waiting so long to order Ugandan shillings. Being out of town and out of civilization while kayaking for a week didn't help with the timeline. I should have thought about ordering the money before I left for Paddle Georgia but I didn't. Today I called the American Express Travel office and found out that their broker doesn't order shillings. Also, my bank does not order them either. I panicked a little. I have one more place, the Travelex at the airport, that might have the shillings. Otherwise I will have to wait to exchange my money either in Amsterdam or in Entebbe, although I'm worried that the currency exchange place at the airport in Entebbe might not be open at 8:30 pm when I arrive. And a last minute option would be to withdraw money from an ATM at the airport in Entebbe. Kristen tells me that African airports, no matter how small and shoddy they may be will always have an ATM. Fingers crossed!

I also called about my travel insurance today to double check just exactly what is covered (i.e. an airlift out of the country if necessary), but by the time I tracked down what company I had bought insurance through the office had already closed. It's hard to make calls and get everything organized while working at camp. Tomorrow I'm leaving camp in the middle of the day to get my final vaccinations so I'll have a little time to make a call then.

On a more positive note, I checked the weather in Entebbe and the high has only been in the low 80's the past few days, with a low in the mid-60s. I can totally deal with that kind of weather! Thoughts on my trip today include a little bit of hesitation. I'm worried I'm going to be overwhelmed and homesick when I first get there. I know I'll get over that right away and have an amazing time but it is so far from home and that's starting to hit me. It's the biggest trip of my life so far! Once I do this I'll be a pro--I'll be able to handle any kind of travel I'm curious to see how I'll feel from day to day as the trip nears--only 11 more days!

It's all starting to feel real

2008-06-28T16:21:00.000-07:00

A week an a half ago I went to the Travel Well Clinic. The nurse I spoke with was very knowledgable and friendly. It kinda made me want her job--pretty exciting stuff. It turned out that I needed a polio booster and another round of oral typhoid in addition to the Yellow Fever vaccine. I will also need to visit my normal doctor this coming week to get a new meningitis and tetanus shot. The consultation lasted about 45 minutes. We talked about everything from what kind of bug spray to take to travel insurance to purchasing a kit with sterile syringes and IV bags in it (just in case!). The shots themselves hurt! As I've gotten older I've become a wimp about shots and needles. Every year when I get the flu shot at school I totally psych myself out. Usually though, because I've made such a big deal about it in my head, the shot is over before I know it and doesn't hurt at all. Another nurse at Travel Well prepped me and said that neither of the shots I was getting would be given in a muscle so they shouldn't hurt as much. Well that was a lie. They hurt more! I left with a hole burned in my wallet and a little circular bandage on either arm. On my way home I dropped off my prescription for an antibiotic (just in case!) and malaria pills.

This whole summer my trip has seemed so far off, not real even. But this past week I had a lot of time to think as I paddled 95 miles on the Flint River. It finally hit me that I leave in two weeks! I can't describe what I feel. It's part excitement, part nervousness, but all kind of blunted and I think that's because it's still two weeks away and because I just have no basis for what to expect at all. My mom and dad and I talked through some of the logistics on our way home from the "closing ceremonies" of Paddle Georgia in Oglethorpe. My dad brought up some good points that I hadn't thought about (and frankly, that freaked me out). What if my flight doesn't leave out of Entebbe at 10 pm like it's supposed to on my way home? Where will I stay? I need a back up plan. I was freaked out because I always assume everything will be peachy and go well and I try to be laid back about traveling but in that moment I realized that this isn't a trip to be flighty about--I need to cover all my bases. I realized there are probably several things I haven't thought of yet that I might need a back up plan for. Even the thought of figuring out how to make an international call from Uganda is a little unnerving because making a phone call is one of the easiest things to do, something we take for granted, and to not know how to do that there will make me feel so helpless. Think about it! It's like not knowing how to tie your shoe or something. Dialing all those international numbers and figuring out phone calls has always been a hassle for me and I'm just going to want to be able to call home easily to say I'm safe.

I got an email back from Amani. I will be staying with a missionary family in Entebbe the night I arrive since it's another 2-3 hour drive to Jinja. The husband will pick me up right from the airport too (which was a major relief). The only part of my trip I'm really nervous about is my flight from Amsterdam to Entebbe, arriving at the airport, hoping my bags get there, and getting to Amani safely. So knowing that someone will be there for me is so comforting! I will leave for Jinja the next morning.

So, things left on my to do list include obtaining some Ugandan shillings, finishing my vaccinations, checking on travel insurance, buying a few last minute things at REI and starting to pack! Two weeks and counting...

Yellow Fever

2008-05-20T12:02:00.000-07:00

On Friday I started calling around to set up my vaccination appointment. I had been advised to go to my county's health department in order to get the cheapest shots. Upon calling though, I found out that they were out of the Yellow Fever vaccination. I called another nearby county. Also out. The woman informed me that there was a worldwide shortage. I gave up and called the TravelWell clinic at Emory, a more expensive (but possibly a better) consultation choice. I was put off by the fact that the vaccine was almost twice as much, that my consultation fee alone would be almost $80 and that I would have to wait almost three weeks to get in. I decided to check a few more places just in case. Yesterday I called a clinic to which the woman at TravelWell had referred me. I asked about Yellow Fever. "We're out," said the woman, "but I can put you on our waiting list." I responded that it was ok and I knew of a place that had the vaccine in stock. "Well in that case you should run and not walk there...there is a worldwide shortage and they're going fast." Now concerned more than ever, I called TravelWell back right away and set up my appointment.

The shortage of the Yellow Fever vaccine piqued my interest. Yellow Fever is a virus that is spread through mosquitoes and causes flu-like symptoms along with jaundice (hence the name). In it's most severe cases it can lead to organ system failure and death. I did some research on the vaccine and found out on the CDC's website that it's one of the safest and most effective vaccines ever created! The manufacturer of the vaccine is sanofi-aventis. Earlier this year when an epidemic broke out in Brazil and Paraguay, the pharmaceutical company was able to send 6 million emergency doses through UNICEF to help those countries. I remember reading about that outbreak a few months back but as with anything we read, our brains don't make the connection until it becomes personal. The Yellow Fever outbreak in Paraguay was the first one in six decades to produce fatal cases of the disease. So, the outbreak in the Americas caused a big part of the depletion. The WHO is worried because the global emergency stockpiles are severely depleted and this makes preventative vaccination a problem too. About 30-35 million doses of the vaccine are created per year and they only cost 60 cents to make. Kind of makes my blood boil that I'm paying $157 to get the vaccine. Better safe than sorry though. My appointment is June 18th and I'll be consulting with a doctor about safe travel tips and other precautions I'll need to take while in Africa.

Learning the meaning of TIA

2008-05-04T19:19:00.000-07:00

I applied to be a volunteer at Amani Baby Cottage in February and sent off my final paperwork the day I left for Sarah's wedding in San Diego. My mom faxed off my final paperwork to be exact! She actually had no idea I had even applied, although she knew of my desire to travel to Africa this summer. She definitely freaked out a little bit, especially when she found out I would be traveling alone. But she and my dad came around to the idea, and they have been so awesome and supportive. Which reminds me of how thankful I am for everyone's support as I've pursued this trip. I started thinking about going to Africa last April, and I told a lot of people and I'm so proud of myself for actually following through with this dream. I'm so excited for this opportunity to learn more about the people of Africa, myself, and God.

There has already been a lot of learning. For example, I didn't hear anything from Amani for a month and a half. I sent an email reminding them of my enthusiasm for volunteering there this summer and got a reply of "Oh! We're so sorry we never emailed you. You're accepted!" This was two weeks ago. It was six thirty a.m. and I silently screamed a little scream of joy and danced around. Now there was so much to think about--plane tickets, vaccinations, accommodations. I sent out several emails to the orphanage asking more questions. Will there be room for me at the Amani Guest House? A week passed and I was getting anxious. Then came the reply. "There should be room...but call the Palm Tree Guest House as well." Hmmm. I needed something more definite than "there should be room."

I called the Palm Tree. A man answered with a simple "Hello?"
Me: (hesitating because I've just called half way around the world and I'm hoping I've dialed the right number) "Hi. Is this the Palm Tree Guest House?"
Man: "Yes"
Me: "Hi, I'm inquiring about whether you have a room available for the dates of July 12th-26th."
Man: "Yes, that should be fine. Yes, Ok"

It was all so laid back. Everyone living in Africa seemed so laissez faire about everything. This made the type-A control freak in me want to pull out my hair and demand definite, immediate answers. I emailed Abbie. Abbie volunteered at Amani last summer and she was how I heard about it. At least I could count on her to respond to me within the same day. Abbie's email later that day said, "Tracy, you literally just show up. A guy named Abdula will probably be assigned to pick you up at the airport...and just so you have an idea of Africa, I waited three hours and when he showed up he was like, ooopps, sorry Abbie :). That's it!??!! Get used to T.I.A. (you'll find yourself shaking your head OFTEN and just saying, "this is africa..." :)). and you'll LOVE it just the same." The missions woman at church concurred with Abbie's observation in an email later in the week.

As I tried to get used to TIA and learn some patience and trust, I finally got a definite answer about the Amani Guest House. I could stay there! I booked my ticket immediately. This was one week ago. I used my whole planning period debating which flight to take and whether that weird feeling in my stomach about that one flight was a sixth sense that something bad would happen to it and maybe I should take a different flight just in case. Intuition. I always regret not listening to it when the thing I sense will happen actually happens, so I chose to be prudent and take the flight that didn't make my stomach feel weird.

On Monday night I stopped by my parents' house. My mom gave me all my vaccination records from the time I was born and we talked about which shots I would need to get. She passed along the Travel Handbook we had received from Emory Clinic ten years ago when we got our shots to move to Brussels. "You should read it...there is good stuff in there for you to know, especially traveling to Africa, " she said. I haven't had to think about being careful to avoid brushing my teeth with tap water, steering away from washed peeled fruits and veggies, and avoiding prepared foods that might contain water that could make me sick since my missions trips to Romania and Belize in high school. I do remember my mom brushing her teeth with Orange Fanta in Romania though when she found herself inconveniently out of bottled water. I definitely need a refresher on safe travel tips.

So vaccinations are next on my checklist and then I feel like I will be set with the major preparations. I'd like to do more research on Uganda. I know that there used to be a cruel dictator and that there were several rebel groups who operated in the western part of the country near the border with the DRC. The country is stable and safe now. Jinja is in the eastern part of the country and almost right on the equator. It's going to be hot! I'll have to sleep under a mosquito net to protect myself from malaria. The village itself is right on Lake Victoria and on one of the Nile's tributaries. It seems to be a fairly decent-sized village with several restaurants and little supermarkets. Thinking about it makes me want to be there now, taking it all in, people watching, experiencing daily life. The trip seems so real some days and like a dream others. It will be here before I know it! I can't wait to see all those smiling babies. To check out some pictures of them, visit http://www.amanibabycottage.org/. As with any mission trip, I know that I will go there to serve people and to give of myself but that I will come away with so much more than I have given. I long for those lessons and the transparency and beauty of life that is experienced when we're out of our element. It is then that we realize that we are all connected and all the same deep down, all God's children, despite life's circumstances. It is then that the material things fade away--the things we think we need to achieve happiness. And what is revealed is that joy and love are all that matter and even the person with the least personal possessions can have these things and share them with a smile or a kind word.